To mark #IWD2020 five trailblazers reflect on what we can do to create a more equal society
Gender equality isn’t a women’s issue. It’s a human issue, an economic issue, it’s politics, families, education, social media, sports, health and wealth. It’s everything.
Equality is about us all choosing to be, as the theme for this year’s International Women’s Day reflects, responsible for using our individual thoughts and actions to create a better world.
We’ve come far. Just one example — if I think of the experiences of the women in my family. My grandmother had eight children and no say in her family planning. She went through a blessing after each child, called churching, to wash away the sin of childbirth and make her clean again. My mother asked her priest for permission to use contraception when she found out she had cancer and it would be dangerous to get pregnant. She was told it would be sin, and she should leave it in God’s hands. Me, and my generation, we’re in charge of our bodies, our fertility, our family size.
There have been seismic changes, but they haven’t come easy, they’ve come from women and men using their voices and their stories to build a better place, to change the rules, to champion the correct over the status quo. We live in an Ireland where women have a constitutional right to bodily autonomy. We live in an Ireland where you can marry the person you love, regardless of their gender. There’s lots more to do.
International Women’s Day reminds all of us to actively choose to challenge, to fight, to improve. From the small conversations to the big debates, each of us can create change.
To celebrate the day, and ahead of the Irish Examiner International Women’s Day Networking Breakfast at the River Lee Hotel on March 6, I ask our guest speakers their thoughts for IWD and what they feel they can do in their own lives to create a more equal society.
It’s always more fun to ask people in than shut them out
TARA FLYNN
I do wonder about celebrating something based on gender, when pretty much everyone’s struggling these days. On top of that, we’re having more nuanced, useful conversations about gender and gender roles themselves. I think that’s great.
But it’s a fact that women as a general group are more likely to be paid less, or be less safe walking home at night, or be harassed physically or online, so I do still think it’s a positive thing to have a day to reflect and celebrate and take up a bit of space. When we do, though, we should also reflect on who’s not at the table, and whether there are marginalised voices we should be listening to.
We can’t be asking for (metaphorical) doors to be opened for us, space to be cleared, and then shut anyone else out. I don’t think that has to be a heavy discussion either, or reason for us to get defensive, but it’s always more fun to ask people in than shut them out. So let’s raise our own awareness, I guess.
Something I’d like to focus on in terms of balance is to add a little more silence to my life. One reason is, as above, I’d like to be a better listener. It’s only when we listen that we realise what we’ve overlooked or missed. And I have terrible FOMO – I don’t want to miss anything. But it’s also for the balance aspect.
It’s very hard to be creative or have new ideas when there’s clamour in your head. It’s only with a bit of peace that you get to daydream or let stuff occur, stuff that refuses to be forced out (usually the best stuff).
Very few people I know can afford the time or money to head off to a pristine beach to look at sunsets…fair play to anyone who can. In the absence of that luxury, the question is where to find quiet. A bit of deep breathing? Yoga, if that’s your bag? Just leaving your headphones behind when you go for a walk?
I’m a divil for looking for distraction, filling every second with words or music. I’m more interested these days on what happens when I’m not distracting myself. It’s not always comfortable and it turns out there are things I don’t like that I have to confront. It’s more positive long-term though to confront them.
Despite the occasional discomfort, it feels like the world’s expanded a bit, breathed out, and there are somehow more hours in the day.
So I think I’ll be keeping at least some of that new silence for at least a while more.
We must continue to work on positive change
DR DOIREANN O’LEARY
It’s important to celebrate the day so as to take stock and reflect on the progress we’ve made with regards to women’s rights and indeed human rights.
It reminds us that together we can make meaningful and positive change, not just for women but for all citizens.
There are women in Ireland who remember when we didn’t have equal voting rights. I’m reminded of this every time I cast my vote in a general election or referendum. There was a time when women were expected to give up their job if they got married. Now we’re encouraged and supported to pursue whatever career we like regardless of our gender or marriage status.
There was a time when women were denied medical attention because they were pregnant outside of marriage. There was a time when women were denied contraception to allow for family planning which in turn denied them of their right to an education which further lead to many women being denied any form of financial independence or freedom. We must look back so we can be reminded not to make the same mistakes of the past, to respect and encourage all people to live their life their way and to their full potential.
I’m very proud of the strides we’ve made in Ireland in terms of human rights, women’s rights, reproductive rights and marriage equality in recent years. We must continue to work on positive change so no member or group in society feels left in the shadows or marginalised.
Something I want to continue to highlight is the societal pressure put on couples to have children and reproduce.
Despite the progress we’ve made in society, we regress when it comes to fertility. Women are often viewed as less useful and like less of a woman if she/they can’t have children. On a societal level, so much of the female identity is wrapped up in childbearing. Women are warned incessantly not to leave starting a family too late. Men’s fertility declines with age too but nobody talks about it.
Infertility is associated with enormous amounts of shame and guilt; an awful lot of this is placed on women. Whilst it of course effects and upsets men too, on a societal level women shoulder the burden. The male infertility factor is often forgotten neglected from the narrative entirely. And let’s not forget the couples who choose not to have children. Childlessness is an area we need to become more accepting of and comfortable with. We need to stop asking “why haven’t they had children” and be more mindful of what a couple may be struggling with or indeed choose for themselves.
I still haven’t quite got over the ‘imposter syndrome’
ANNE-MARIE TAYLOR
I have to confess to being a bit ambivalent about celebrating International Women’s Day. I used to work in Accenture and we celebrated International Women’s Day from the late 1990s when it was certainly not the norm. I still haven’t quite got over the “imposter syndrome” I used to feel. Why did we think we were important enough to warrant a special day? I’ve mostly let go of that particular baggage as International Women’s Day has become a confident, affirming celebration of women. I do still worry that it can be perceived as excluding men, and I’m not sure we’ve cracked that yet. That’s one reason why I welcome the emphasis on gender balance, rather than focussing exclusively on women.
Balance in my own life is pretty good. I have what’s known now as a portfolio career so I get to choose what I work on, and can more or less regulate my commitments. I’m at the stage in my life when I could choose to step back from the world of work. Several of my friends who have retired in recent years are enjoying a work-free lifestyle. However, I see my mother who is 92 and still as quick-witted as ever and think I could still have a lot of time ahead of me; what do I want to achieve with this time?
So, my focus is to ensure I have a pipeline of interesting work, paid or pro-bono, to keep me challenged and contributing for hopefully another few decades. In the immediate term, I’m working to improve gender balance in Irish business leadership, specifically as programme director of the Balance for Better Business initiative. Launched by the government in 2018 and co-chaired by Brid Horan and Gary Kennedy, we set targets for women on the boards and senior leadership teams of businesses in Ireland. While there’s still a lot to be done, it’s gratifying that over the first 18 months of the initiative, female directors on the top 20 publicly listed companies in Ireland increased from 18% to 25%. Finally, after years of talking about improving gender balance, the introduction of targets is having a real impact.
Personally, I get great satisfaction from being part of this change which will help Ireland’s businesses to thrive and succeed by making full use of all our talents.
Society gives little boys and little girls different messages
AOIFE HEARNE
It’s so important to celebrate, to appreciate the work of the women that went before us. It can be easy to get a little bit complacent about just how far we’ve come. Everyday things we take for granted, the recent elections, for example, it’s vital for us to understand the decades of campaigning by the suffragettes, to have an awareness of that. We must appreciate and respect that and make sure our children are aware of it too.
My husband Alan and I have one son, Dylan, age five and two daughters, Alva, age three and threequarters and Zoe is one and threequarters. I want them to know how important equality is and to feel they can be anything they want to be. I hope I’m being a good role model for them. I can see the difference in how society treats boys and girls. In our house, we all chip in, Alan cooks dinners, does the jobs that need to be done, and it’s made a huge difference to my mental health. Asking for help and getting it makes me a better person, a better mother, a better wife.
Young boys are given very different messages than young girls. Even things like how people talk to them, my girls will be told they are pretty or comments will be made on their lovely dresses for example. No one has ever said to Dylan: ‘Oh, that’s a lovely t-shirt you have on!’ From the very start, they are given different messages. At home, I’m a strong believer that the kids see us in all our roles.
I have a strong work ethic, which I think I got from my parents. I’m an only child, my mother always worked. I had very strong role models in both my parents. I think the main difference between my generation and my mother’s is that they didn’t question things. Whether it was the Catholic Church and its influence on society. It was just things were done a certain way and that was that.
In my own life and how I feel I can make a difference is I use my voice. I’ll speak up if I think something needs to change, I’ll ask why? I hope my daughters will be given the chance to use their voices, to question, to change.
I give service through music and I am good to the planet
KAREN UNDERWOOD
As I have witnessed a more emerging cosmopolitan Ireland, an Ireland in a housing crisis and my own children now rearing children of their own, it is important I understand what is my role in society and to find a way to contribute what I can, whilst still having time for my own interests.
Non-nationals can find themselves in a challenging situation in direct provision centres throughout the country and one service that I am developing is to perform live music at venues throughout the country as a source of enjoyment to people who0 would not be able to afford or access entertainment. I hope that this will lead to a dialogue about how I have excelled in Ireland.
The homeless crisis in Ireland has increased in recent years and I am most fortunate to have a charitable relationship with Cork Penny Dinners and I provide support when I can. This has given me a heightened awareness that I share on social media. I have been so fortunate to be blessed with grandchildren and so we are increasing our green thinking by recycling as much as possible to give them a better environment. I garden and provide a safe place for our dwindling bee population.
When I give service to my community and my family, I am working with women and men who support and love women. I feel I am a part of what creates women equal by taking personal responsibility. On a perfect day, I give service to various charities through music and I’m pretty good to the planet. But shucks I’m human and sometimes lose the balance, taking on too much. Overall the 2020s will be a great decade for me if I do my part and find time to muck in with my wife, “the missus” in the garden. Now that’s good music to me.
