Phillip Schofield coming out as gay after years of marriage very common, says Love Equality NI
An Irish gay rights campaigner claims it is not at all rare for people to come out after being married for many years.
It comes after British TV presenter Philip Schofield admitted he was gay, after being married to his wife for 27 years.
There has been marriage equality in Britain for many years, but the first same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland will take place on Tuesday.
Ciaran Moynagh, from Love Equality NI, said Schofield's situation is very common.
Mr Moynagh said: "People are having more of an awareness of acceptance of LGBT in society and therefore they feel greater confidence to come out and they know it's never too late.
"I think maybe back in the 70s and 80s, when it was less socially accepted, people felt obliged to conform with society and enter into marriages and now they are saying that it is no longer necessary and they know marriage is no longer for life."
Earlier: Phillip Schofield: I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay
TV presenter Phillip Schofield has revealed he has “been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay.”
The This Morning host, who has been married for nearly 27 years, made the announcement in a message posted on Instagram.
He wrote: “You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing — and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay.
“This is something that has caused many heartbreaking conversations at home. I have been married to Steph for nearly 27 years, and we have two beautiful grown-up daughters, Molly and Ruby.
“My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusion, Yet still I can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.”
Schofield, who presents This Morning with Holly Willoughby, wrote: “My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better.
“Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.
“Steph has been incredible — I love her so very much. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. My girls have been astonishing in their love, hugs and encouraging words of comfort. Both mine and Steph’s entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support.
“Of course they are worried about Steph, but I know they will scoop us both up. My friends are the best, especially Holly, who has been so kind and wise — and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder. At ITV, I couldn’t hope to work with more wonderful, supportive teams.
“Every day on This Morning, I sit in awe of those we meet who have been brave and open in confronting their truth — so now it’s my turn to share mine. This will probably all come as something of a surprise and I understand, but only by facing this, by being honest, can I hope to find peace in my mind and a way forward.”
He signed off the message: “Please be kind, especially to my family.”
Appearing on This Morning together, Holly Willoughby told Schofield: “I know that is something you have been living with, that inner conflict, for a long time.”
"This is tough. This is not something that has happened quickly. I've had to deal with this in my head for quite some time."
— Sky News (@SkyNews) February 7, 2020
Phillip Schofield explains the timing of why he came out as gay to Holly Willoughby.
Read more 👉 https://t.co/bkj5YR5RbC pic.twitter.com/3uti66PyEh
He added: “It’s funny because everyone I have spoken to, you, have all been so supportive, so loving and caring.
“My entire family, to a person, have grabbed us and said ‘It’s OK, we love you, we are proud of you,’ and every person I tell, it gets a little lighter and a little lighter.
“But at the same time I’ve made this decision, which is essential for me and for my head, which is the reason why I’ve done this, I’m very aware that Steph and the girls are at home watching this.
“They have been supporting this as, we got to this moment.”
He added: “I feel a little lighter but I’m also very aware, there is no question that it causes pain and it causes upset.”
He said he has “no secrets” from his wife, adding: “We have never had any secrets.
“It’s tough, this is not something that has happened quickly, I’ve had to deal with this in my head for quite some time. We’ve been honest and open.”
Asked why he was announcing it now, he said: “It’s a good question, the thing is you know this has been bothering me for a very long time, everybody does these things at their own speed, when they think the time is right.
“It has consumed my head, and has become an issue in my head.”
Schofield added: “I got to the stage where I think we sit here every day and I’m over there and some amazingly brave, incredible person is sitting here and I’m listening to their story, thinking ‘Oh my god, you’re so brave’ and I’m thinking ‘I have to be that person’.
“All you can be in your life is honest with yourself and I was getting to the point where I wasn’t being honest with myself and I didn’t like myself very much because I wasn’t being honest with myself.”
Schofield added that it has helped to talk to someone, saying: “It’s brought me back from some dark places. Talking to someone does bring you back and sometimes talking to people saves you.”
He also said that his hand had not been forced to share the news, saying: “It’s my decision, this is absolutely my decision, it was something I knew I had to do.”
Willoughby said she could “feel the relief” from her fellow co-presenter.
Asked if he was considering a relationship with someone else at this time, Schofield said: “I don’t think so, I’m not thinking there, I’m doing each day at a time now.
“And this has always been a slow process and there’s no fast process after, this was the big day, and this was the day I knew that everything was pointing towards and I could not have done it if it hadn’t been you, so afterwards I don’t know, there’s no one, I’m not rushing to anybody.”
Willoughby offered words of support saying she would be by his side “for ever and ever”.
The duo were then joined by fellow This Morning presenters Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford.
After a round of hugs, Holmes said: “Nobody should be embarrassed about their sexuality and it’s fantastic you have spoken out and there will be so many people who have been strengthened by what you’ve said.”
He added that he and wife Ruth would be “the first to stand by you”.
This Morning co-presenter Holly Willoughby posted on Instagram following the news that Phillip Schofield has come out as gay.
Posting a photo of the two of them together, she wrote: “Never been more proud of my friend than I am today.”
A statement from Phillip pic.twitter.com/iIE7NcLZ2I
— This Morning (@thismorning) February 7, 2020
Tributes
Fellow TV host Dermot O’Leary also sent his support to Schofield on Twitter, writing: “Sending big love to the Schofield and his family, @Schofe Stand up guy, heart of a lion. X”
Sending big love to the Schofield and his family, @Schofe Stand up guy, heart of a lion. X
— Dermot O'Leary (@radioleary) February 7, 2020
Actor and singer John Barrowman welcomed Schofield’s news and said “the nation loves you for who you are”.
Writing on Instagram, he said: “So proud of you and your family Phillip. Welcome to your truth and authentic self. The nation loves you for who you because you are @schofe
“Can’t wait to hug you and don’t worry we got your back we are #LGBTQ+strong…”
Comedian Matt Lucas commented on Twitter about the news that presenter Phillip Schofield has come out as gay.
He said on Twitter: “I’m not surprised about Philip Schofield. Growing up I remember him presenting with Gordon the Gopher from inside that closet!
“Joking aside, that cannot have been an easy statement to make. People come out at different stages in their lives. Good luck Philip.”
I'm not surprised about Philip Schofield. Growing up I remember him presenting with Gordon the Gopher from inside that closet! Joking aside, that cannot have been an easy statement to make. People come out at different stages in their lives. Good luck Philip xxxx
— Matt Lucas HQ (@RealMattLucas) February 7, 2020
Presenter and stylist Gok Wan commented on Phillip Schofield’s statement that he has come out as gay.
He said on Twitter: “So much love to you, such bravery.”
So much love to you @Schofe such bravery xxxxx https://t.co/8fPnfzPtbu
— Gok Wan MBE 🌈 (@therealgokwan) February 7, 2020
Actor and comedian David Walliams said on Twitter: “I am sending all my love to Phillip Schofield today. I have always held him in the highest regard, and now have nothing but respect and admiration for him.
“Let’s hope we are moving towards a world where no-one has to come out anymore, they can just be who they are and celebrate that.”
I am sending all my love to @Schofe today. I have always held him in the highest regard, ans now have nothing but respect and admiration for him. Let’s hope we are moving towards a world where no-one has to come out anymore, they can just be who they are and celebrate that.
— David Walliams HQ (@davidwalliams) February 7, 2020
Here is the statement in full.
“You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing — and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay.
“This is something that has caused many heart-breaking conversations at home. I have been married to Steph for nearly 27 years, and we have two beautiful grown-up daughters, Molly and Ruby. My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusion, Yet still I can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.
“My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better. Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.
“Steph has been incredible — I love her so very much. She is the kindest soul I have ever met. My girls have been astonishing in their love, hugs and encouraging words of comfort. Both mine and Steph’s entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support. Of course they are worried about Steph, but I know they will scoop us both up. My friends are the best, especially Holly, who has been so kind and wise — and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder. At ITV, I couldn’t hope to work with more wonderful, supportive teams.
“Every day on This Morning, I sit in awe of those we meet who have been brave and open in confronting their truth — so now it’s my turn to share mine. This will probably all come as something of a surprise and I understand, but only by facing this, by being honest, can I hope to find peace in my mind and a way forward.
“Please be kind, especially to my family.
“Phillip”
