Wardrobe wellness: Now is the perfect time for a closet clear out

Darwin’s Theory of Evolution: It’s not the first thing that springs to mind when thinking of the coronavirus.

That said, the survival of the fittest is the precise lodestone which underpins this global pandemic, especially when it comes to our shopping habits.

The evolutionary instinct to stockpile hasn’t left us; it has merely been redirected as we panic-buy items we think we need (but really don’t) from tins of Spam and long- life milk, to interminable swathes of toilet paper.

Every time we open the cupboard doors, we now receive a visual reminder of our fear-based decisions, with no real exit plan for shifting shelf-stable cooked pork.

What’s more, we’ve got time to ruminate. Lots and lots of time.

Rather than simmer in a thought-stew of our own making, let’s sublimate that residual anxiety into a decluttering task guaranteed to bring a more satisfactory pay-off. Your wardrobe.

You see, your wardrobe is more than just a collection of clothes.

It’s a deeply vulnerable space containing layers of old energy which, if not recognised, can create sartorial chaos.

This explains why something as seemingly simple as a closet clear-out can trigger extreme emotions — fear, loss, shame, guilt.

Despite the mounting evidence (burgeoning clothing heaps, growing inertia, the smell of despair), there’s always a good reason to avoid closet self-care.

Why? Because it’s bloody exhausting, that’s why.

The strict focus required to bridge the gap between sowing and reaping is such that it drains one’s willpower; and once mental energy is compromised, that’s when we jack it all in for a Netflix marathon on the sofa.

Much of our procrastination isn’t based on having better things to do (a moot point in quarantine) but rather with more latent underlying fears: fear of what lies ahead, fear of the mess we’ve made, fear of having spent a small mortgage on shoes.

Putting things on pause may make us feel better in the short-term by lowering tension and easing anxiety, but it can significantly impact our long-term well-being.

It can also make you feel like a bad-ass superhero which could convert feelings of self-isolation to self-actualisation.

Here’s how to swap procrastination for motivation and take the war out of your weeding your wardrobe.

Forgive yourself

It’s time to absolve yourself of your closet sins. You heard me. A bit of self-compassion is in order.

Why be so hard on yourself? It happens to all of us.

According to Dr Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist and lecturer at Stanford University and author of Maximum Willpower, forgiveness increases accountability and makes us less likely to continue the pattern of procrastination.

Why? McGonigal maintains it takes away the shame and pain of thinking about what happened (the past) and makes us more likely to receive advice from others and learn from the experience.

Whether it’s a pantry full of ambrosia creamed rice or a bunker filled with bougie handbags, the premise still applies.

Break it down

Have more than three wardrobes? Stuff stashed in the attic and the garden shed?

Calculate your estimated closet inventory by the amount of time needed to clear it. e.g. four hours per closet x three closets = 12 hours plus breaks.

That’s an entire weekend or one closet per night for three allocated nights of the week or month.

I advocate the latter. Remember our little chat about willpower?

Small and consistent increments (like starting with your underwear drawer) are key to easing anxiety, building personal agency and kicking procrastination in the goolies.

Recruit a frank friend with no filter. This is not a job to be tackled alone.

As the saying goes, ‘we’re all in this together’ so, recruit an objective third party with a penchant for truth bombs to help make executive decisions and reinforce the spirit of essentialism.

Treat the process like a pair of training wheels on a bike: the support helps you stop from wobbling and falling off, but once you achieve a certain rhythm and confidence, you’ll be able to steer your course alone.

Fight brain drain: Keep snacks, water and juice to hand and refuel at regular two- hour intervals.

Be sure to stop for a decent lunch break too.

The trick to sustaining and completing a task as emotionally-charged as weeding one’s wardrobe boils down to something quite simple — blood sugar.

Without regularly replenishing glucose levels, willpower will dry up like a pre-packaged boyband after three songs.

Suddenly, deciding whether to bin that shirt with the cigarette burns is a cognitive feat too far.

Decision fatigue sets in and the whole process grinds to an unceremonious halt.

And to think, all you needed was a biscuit.

Keep going

Starting to flag? Not sure if that lived-in shirt is love-worn or simply worn-out?

Take two minutes to stretch your legs, throw water on your face, cry — whatever you need to do.

Just give yourself a timeframe and get back to business. Small breaks are known to improve decision-making and performance.

They also work with the brain’s natural inclinations (pleasure over pain).

Studies show that the unconscious mind continues to actively work out problems even while the conscious mind is engaged in a different activity (those ah-ha moments generally come when the mind and body are taking five).

Futureproof the now

Anxiety is a fear-based response to a future possibility.

And as horoscope-reading, Dow Index-following, weather-predicting folk, we are partial to a bit of risk management. Nothing wrong with that.

When caution turns into cold sweats over parting with a dress last worn in 1999 by a shape last spotted the same year, then we’ve got a problem.

The key to managing one’s state is futureproofing the now.

Every time you start to feel your footing slide at the very mention of change, it’s time to take a deep belly breath and get back to the present.

Focus on small bags; not the big picture.

Get to grips with why you are decluttering and remind yourself of its life-affirming benefits: space, flow, calm.

Get sorted

Think of your closet like a boutique and merchandise accordingly.

Start with hangers; used correctly, these simple tools create a unified and aesthetically- pleasing display while helping you see what you have more clearly.

Combine wooden styles for heavier items and expensive garments like suits and gowns.

Thinner velvet styles can be used for easier, everyday pieces.

Wire hangers, on the other hand, can rust, misshapen and damage clothing.

Should you spy these closet offenders, have them disposed of immediately.

And finally...

Group garments according to type (jackets with jackets, trousers with trousers and so on), silhouette (blazers with blazers, skinny leg with skinny leg) and finally, colour.

Sorting according to garment type and silhouette help determine what you need and don’t need, especially when you discover you’ve got 20 blazers and no rain jacket.

Sorting according to colour helps visualise an outfit and inspire combinations you may not have considered.

Suffering from total overwhelm?

Place anything worn on a daily to weekly basis nearest the middle of a closet at eye level for speed and ease of use.

Those items worn less frequently (occasionwear, seasonal pieces) along with heavier items can go towards the edges.

There you have it: a clutter-free, curated space.

Doesn’t that feel good? As for the Spam…