Alison Curtis: Village people, we’re so lucky we have a solid support system

I also at that stage had lost two aunts who were very much motherly figures to me and I really craved their advice as well.

During those first two years, as I was finding my feet, I wanted to be able to talk to my mom daily.

Or to call my Aunt Kathy as both were incredible mothers themselves and I know they would have always had the right advice and would have certainly been able to calm me when I was having a moment.

On top of that just to be able to share with them all the sweet things parents want to share about their babies, first word, first steps, first tooth.

I only think back now and give myself credit for being stronger than I thought I was. And to give my husband credit for being amazingly fast at learning this parenting lark.

But what I was really thankful for during Joan’s first few year’s was the new family we were building around us as my friends became mothers and my main confidants.

Joan was born smack dab in the middle of two other little gorgeous girls two close friends had that year.

For the three of us to be going through pregnancy, birth and maternity leave together was an amazing thing.

We were able to compare notes on breast-feeding and weening, reassure one another if a temperature developed and most importantly to be able to hang out and tell each other it is all going to be okay, we will one day sleep again!

As the years went on Joan and I made other strong alliances especially when she started school.

Almost within that first month we found our tribe.

We created ‘a family’

A group of wonderful moms (and dads) who not only provided such great advice at the drop of the hat, but crucially by meeting them we created ‘a family’ of people who I felt we could rely on no matter what.

We quickly set up Whatsapp groups to help with everything under the sun to do with being a parent.

Where do your kids go for swimming lessons? Was there homework today? Want to have a playdate? What the hell are worms and how to hell do you treat them? That sort of thing.

‘The family’ developed and grew as Joan became closer to her classmates and likewise I got to know their moms better.

We share collections and drop-offs. If anyone was stuck last minute someone was always there to come to the rescue.

We would meet up without the kids to check in, we support one another if anyone is feeling overwhelmed. Simply we are kind to one another and we can rely on one another.

For Joan as a single kid it has been so important to build bonds with other kids and to grow emotional attachments that I hope last a life time.

Every week she knows she can count on quality time with her closest friends which is of course supported by their parents.

The comfort of knowing you can reach out to so many people for help and advice I feel is part of the foundation of being a parent for everyone. It does take a village to raise a child and sometimes some of us have that village around us, other times we create it.