Russell Brand ruined a man's lunch, so he wrote him this fantastic letter
Russell Brand marched into a London branch of the Royal Bank of Scotland this week, armed with a megaphone and a TV crew, to express his views on the capitalist system.
Of course, the board members of the bank weren't hanging out in the branch - it was mostly normal desk staff. You see, Russell's stunt interrupted the lunch of Joseph Kynaston Reeves.
His delicious, hot, piping lunch went to waste, all because some man was "poncing around like you were Russell bleeding Brand."
So Jo wrote him a letter, and it is .
"You started going on at me about public money and bankers' bonuses, but look, Russell, anyone who knows me will tell you that my food is important to me, and I hadn't had breakfast that morning, and I'd been standing in the freezing cold for half an hour on your whim," he wrote on his blog.
"Did you think a pack of traders might gallop through reception, laughing maniacally as they threw burning banknotes in the air, quaffing champagne, and brutally thrashing the ornamental paupers that they keep on diamante leashes — and you, Russell, would damningly catch them in the act? But that's on Tuesdays."
Jo' letter tells Russell he "gets it" - that footage of being removed is good TV. But at the end of the day, "all it really means ... is that you don't have an appointment."
But the real kicker is the impression Brand left on Jo, who said he'd always thought Brand would be a good man to chat with. "Turns out, that's an illusion."
"Because, you see, Russell, when you accosted me, you started speaking to me with your nose about two inches from mine ... you keep talking to someone in that chatty reasonable affable tone of yours, and they react with anger. Makes them look unreasonable. Makes it look like they're the aggressive ones.
"I can honestly say that the only other people ever to talk to me the way you did were school bullies. It's been nearly a quarter of a century since I had to deal with such bastards, so I was caught quite off my guard. Nice company you're keeping. Now I think about it, they used to ruin my lunchtimes too."
There's a lot more to the full letter, detailing Brand's conversations, Jo's rage, and what he was actually having for lunch We recommend you check it out.
