Not that anyone’s yet doing an ecstatic fandango to that tune, post-Watford. We ended up clinging on for dear life, and praising the gods of the transfer market (yet again) for the fax that cost Real the services of De Gea back in the day.

For every good thing there was to appreciate at Vicarage Road, there was a balancing bad.

Hurrah for Lukaku’s bouncy stomach and enduring gut-busting effort; boo for Martial’s sulky gob and blatant indifference.

Three cheers for Fellaini, fittingly man of the match on World Afro Day; three sneers for Sanchez’s continuing abject and baffling uselessness. We could continue like that through the whole team; such has been the case for months now.

Fellaini’s hair was actually overshadowed by Smalling’s, whose ludicrous new cut put one in mind of some 1980s Dutch boyband. To be fair, Chris then took his goal chance like another 1980s Dutch legend, Van Basten. Every now and then, that lad does do something extraordinary — all the more painful, then, to think of how little we have ended up thinking of him overall.

And then, of course, there’s Pogba. As ever, it always ends up with him.

Some will tell you he had a good first half, and impressed with his close-shave goal efforts.

Others will remind you that he went missing when the pressure came during the second.

Some Reds in the crowd were growling angrily about Pogba by full-time, which doesn’t bode well as the nights draw in.

I am told that José and Pogba had heart-to-heart in recent weeks, where the ongoing mutual antagonism was admitted, but a truce of sorts patched up.

Whether that will last until the summer, or merely until December, is anyone’s guess. As Mourinho admitted the other day, even he can’t foresee how it’s all going to unfold.

All he knows, like the rest of us, is that Pogba has not yet asked for a transfer.

Hmm. Smalling, Martial, Pogba, Rashford... a suspicious soul might start asking questions about the relationship between United’s black players and José, were it not for the counter-examples of boss’s pet Ashley Young, another positive at Watford, and Lukaku, who spoke out in José’s favour with the media last week.

But it was Rashford who proved to be Cause of the Week for the United-covering media, eventually prompting an effective and memorable fact-rant from José.

Unfortunately, for many United fans, the incident inspired less than it conjured comical memories of Rafa Benitez.

There are two bosses you never want to echo if you’re in charge at United: ‘I’d just love it’ Keegan and ‘I’ve got a list of facts’ Benitez.

Off we now go to Berne for what will be an expensive but delightful trip.

European matches over there used to be taken for granted, until Basel shockingly sank us in 2012.

Is there any point praying for United’s zillionaires not to take their eye off the ball this week?

Bitter experience tells us that our beloved superstars will always take a breather when it’s on offer.

Best hang on tight to your lederhosen...