Having someone like Seamus Coughlan to mentor and guide me through the trials and tribulations of a sporting life brings huge advantages. Being around the greats of the Nemo Rangers dressing room of the 1980s was all I wanted, and my Dad duly obliged.

Listening to the inspirational words in the dressing room and watching the passion and skill on display from such stars as Billy Morgan, Dinny Allen, Jimmy Kerrigan and Stephen O’Brien, gave me an invaluable insight into what it took to be an athlete at the top of your game.

Many parents can relate to the role of falling in as manager of your kid’s team. That’s exactly what happened when I was old enough to play street leagues.

My Dad got into the coaching side of things and we happily soldiered on together for many years until I decided to leave Nemo Rangers and the Cork minors, choosing to take the Queen’s shilling and ply my trade in the garrison game across the water.

But I have always looked back fondly at those years with my father running our team, ably assisted by another Nemo great and true gentleman, Dinna O’ Driscoll.

They weren’t passing down any secret technical information from their vast experience at the top of the game to us.

They just focused on making it a fun and happy environment where fear had no place. They wanted us to enjoy every moment that we were in the care of the Capwell Road fraternity.

Yet, almost without knowing it, Nemo had carved out a policy of developing great players through a similar mindset to that of Ajax, the giants of Dutch football.

Nemo never cared about winning underage titles — if they could bring one or two players from the enjoyable environment of their academy through to the senior panel each year, that was all the success they needed. Juvenile players winning titles was a bonus but always a secondary consideration.

I can’t stress enough how this mentality has come to benefit the Cork giants of Gaelic football and the majority of players who graced the pitches of that famous little club.

The talented players flourished and the not so talented ones have happy memories to look back on.

I recall one of the few brief arguments I had with my Dad in the car on the way home from a match.

It was after we had been narrowly beaten by our local rivals, Douglas, in a championship game.

Knowing I would have to face the relentless gloating in school the next day, I bemoaned the fact that he had brought on some of the less capable players towards the end of the game when we still had a chance of winning.

His answer was always the same: “So and so is here week in week out and is as much a part of the team as you, or anyone else. He deserves to get a run”.

When I was critical of my own game my father always knew how to pick me up.

A typical response would have been: “It mightn’t have been your best game but you were still better than a lot of the players on the pitch”.

It was this wisdom, encouragement and thoughtfulness, delivered in a kind manner, that I remember most from his mentorship.

In any avenue of sport, a key factor in performing to your max is having no fear of the consequences of your performance. This mindset encourages your game to ‘flow’, as you play with your subconscious mind.

The alternative is to play with your conscious mind getting in the way as you worry about making a mistake.

The common example of the conscious/unconscious mind is driving a car. When we learn to drive we are using our conscious mind.

Put it in neutral/turn the ignition/press the clutch/let down the handbrake/release the clutch slowly while pressing the accelerator.

At first, it’s not easy. But once you gain an understanding of how driving works, you start doing it with your subconscious mind.

In other words, you don’t think, you just do. The closer we get to this state of mind in sport the better we perform.

The adults on the sideline are the greatest factor in either enabling or inhibiting this state of mind.

Annoyed parents or coaches roaring their frustration have no place in kids’ sports.

I’m all for adults at the game supporting and praising the children, as you would for their school’s Christmas concert, but for some reason when little Johnny crosses the white line all parental decorum goes out the window.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was left in disbelief when a friend told me about an U12 soccer game that was abandoned because parents threatened the ref after he awarded a late penalty.

U12! This is lunacy and must not be tolerated. It doesn’t happen in gymnastics, swimming or, for that matter, piano lessons.

Put it another way: what would we think if a parent was standing at the window of their child’s class roaring abuse when they got a maths question wrong?

Football is not a life necessity, it’s a pastime that brings joy.

With the new League of Ireland underage structure being rolled out, I can’t think of a more timely moment to promote an initiative whereby parents must adhere to a strict code of conduct in order to eradicate this behaviour and ensure these young players can perform in a positive and supportive environment.

Let the thing they love bring them joy — they’ll thank you after and become better players in return.

So tell your kids to go play without fear and, most importantly, enjoy every minute of it.

And never lose sight of the fact that it’s their journey, not yours.