Jay-Z admits cheating on Beyonce: 'The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone's face that you caused'
Jay-Z has addressed rumours about his marriage with Beyonce, admitting he has cheated on her in the past, .
The rapper's recent album, '4:44', hinted at him being unfaithful. It included the line: "Look, I apologize/Often womanize/Took for my child to be born to see through a woman's eyes."
The album came a year after Beyonce's 'Lemonade', which strongly suggested she had been cheated on: "He only want me when I'm not there/He better call Becky with the good hair."
Speaking to The New York Times Style Magazine, Jay-Z said going through therapy allowed him to confront his emotions, which he had "shut down".
"You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode what happen? You shut down all emotions. So even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can't connect," he said.
"In my case, like it's, it's deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity ..."
He said dealing with experiences from his childhood, which included racism and bullying, helped heal his marriage, and the couple use their music as a therapy.
"We were using our art almost like a therapy session. And we started making music together. And then the music she was making at that time was further along.
"So, her album came out as opposed to the joint album that we were working on."
He said their struggles made their music better.
"The best place is right in the middle of the pain."
"At the end of the day we really have a healthy respect for one another's craft. I think she's amazing.
"You know, most people walk away, and, like, divorce rate is like 50% or something 'cause most people can't see themselves.
"The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone's face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself."
Jay-Z's latest album, he feels, has taught him many things about his relationship.
"I feel it's the most important work that I've done and I'm very proud of it and the effect that it's having on people. Even like the studio sessions, you know, we were having four-hour conversations after playing one song.
"I learned so much about people that was around me, just my friends, I learned things about them that I didn't know, in a 20-year relationship, just from this one song."
