Billie Eilish: Sometimes I feel trapped in this persona I’ve created

Billie Eilish has said she has “never felt desired” in relationships and sometimes feels trapped in the persona she has created because “people view me not as a woman”.

The Bad Guy singer has become well-known for her signature style of baggy ensembles.

She told GQ magazine: “Here’s a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them.

<figcaption class='imgFCap'>Billie Eilish in GQ (Danielle Levitt/GQ/PA)</figcaption>
Billie Eilish in GQ (Danielle Levitt/GQ/PA)

“And it’s a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody. So I dress the way I dress as I don’t like to think of you guys – I mean anyone, everyone – judging it, or the size of it.

“But that doesn’t mean that I won’t wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before.

“Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl. And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created, because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman.

“I have never felt powerful in a relationship. I did once and, guess what, I took advantage of that person’s kindness. I wasn’t used to it.

“It’s been months and I am not attracted to people anymore. I don’t know what’s going on … It’s actually kind of dope.”

<figcaption class='imgFCap'>Billie Eilish on the cover of GQ (Danielle Levitt/GQ/PA)</figcaption>
Billie Eilish on the cover of GQ (Danielle Levitt/GQ/PA)

Eilish, 18, said she went through a period of wanting to be like her peers at school but that that urge disappeared quite quickly.

She said: “I would only go to so-called trendy shops and wear what was considered by some as trendy. It was a very uncomfortable year. Also, because I wasn’t rich, and a lot of my friends were rich, that was very hard to deal with.

“But that went away pretty fast; no idea why. Since then I’ve never felt comfortable looking like other people.”

The full feature is in the July/August issue of GQ, available via digital download and on newsstands on June 5.

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