You won't be bowled over by 'Blackball'
Mel Smith
Paul Kaye, James Cromwell, Vince Vaughn, Johnny Vegas, Bernard Cribbins, Alice Evans.
15.
How some people get the funding to make films is baffling.
You are unlikely to find a film as dismal as this this side of 2050. For a start, it's set in the nail-chewing world of bowling. Wake up at the back!
OK, so thousands of white-clothed ladies and gentleman enjoy nothing better than an afternoon on the green. Bowling can, I'm sure, be a charmingly relaxing way of passing the time. It might even be cut-throat and devious, but it makes for an awful film. Well, it does here.
The plot instantly reminds us of that wonderfully inventive and fall-down funny film from Oz, Strictly Ballroom. Like bowling, ballroom dancing might not seem the obvious subject for a memorable romantic-comedy, but it worked. Blackball lacks all the strengths of Strictly Ballroom.
We have Kaye as a bowler who fights officialdom with bad language, a scruffy appearance and general disgraceful behaviour. Officialdom fights back with a 10-year ban.
He falls in love with the daughter of a rival and wins the day with a sensational comeback under his seedy agent.
It's a waste of money and time. It's badly-written and directed with no style. You simply shouldn't bother with it under any circumstances.
1/5
