She's been sorting out Cork people for ages...
I’m sorry to hear that.
For the uninitiated, those seats were for two people in the cinema.
Let’s just say if we name d'kids after the place they were conceived, a la Beckham, half of Cork City would be called The Jumbos.
Be careful, because asking for the jumbos these days is as old-fashioned as a hair cut in Cappoquin. (Imagine.) I’ll never forget when My Conor and I went to Fifty Shades of Grey.
He turned to me at the end and said, you’re a very naughty girl, it’s time for some cruel and unusual punishment. I said no, My Conor, please don’t make me watch the movie again.
That’s a terrible thing to say about boys from Christians. My smug Limerick friend was on WhatsApp last night with, “They should have put sub-titles on Young Offenders, LOL”.
I said, "why?". She said, "So Limerick people could understand what they are saying, LOL.” I said, “I didn’t know ye could read, LOL.”
Radio silence after that.
It’s a funny business. Myself and My Conor were thinking of starting an open relationship last year, but changed our minds when we saw the price of property in Kinsale.
I think you could soften the blow by putting it in terms that Derek will understand: ‘Here’s a message from Dan Paddy Andy/Get your hands off my wife and leave fairly handy.’
It must be very small. I was trying to guess who your girlfriend is, but a local in Innishannon with half an English accent could be any one of 500 people.
I told my vegan niece from Sunday’s Well your story and asked her if she would be able to give you a second chance.
She said no way. I said because of a few sausages? She said no, he’s from Togher, that’s just unforgivable.
You’re not even what I might call at 2 am, if Toni from Ciao Bella Pizza wasn’t picking up his phone. (No offence.) I took a look at your profile pic on Norry Finder. Your problem is you didn’t go all-out lower order.
The least you could do is photoshop on a wispy moustache ,or a tattoo saying “I hates fish.”