Mike Ross describes losing his brother to suicide in heartbreaking interview
Former Ireland rugby player Mike Ross spoke about losing his 16-year-old brother Andrew to suicide on the Late Late Show last night.
Ross told Ryan Tubridy of the devastation felt by him and his family when his brother committed suicide at their home in Ballyhooley in 1997.
Ross, who has four siblings, was just 17 at the time.
He described how, on the morning of the event, Andrew said he didn't want to go to school as he didn't have his homework done.
Ross and his other siblings missed the bus and were dropped to school by their mother while Andrew stayed at home.
"My Mum got home and she found that while she was gone Andrew had shot himself," he said.
"The first thing we knew about it was when the priest called us all into a room and told us that we had to go home, there had been a terrible accident.
"I remember trying to get out of the priest, 'exactly what type of accident are you talking about?', but eventually, they told us."
Ross said how he arrived home and saw his brother on the stairs and got changed and completed some jobs outside due to the shock of the discovery.
"My mother was holding him, it was a complete shock."
The days that followed were "a bit of a blur", and it was not until just three months ago that Ross' mother told him that Andrew had left a note.
"She knew there was a note there, and she searched and she searched, and about a year afterwards she found it balled up and thrown down the back of the wardrobe."
He said that his mother didn't want to show them the note straightaway as they were just getting back on their feet and she didn't think it was the right time.
Ross said it was "difficult and emotional" to read the letter.
"I read it and I was just shaking my head reading it. He thought he was ugly, he thought he was stupid. It's just that teenage impulse thing.
"I remember reading about some kid going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and he did it. He said as he jumped off the railing he had a moment of clarity wishing he could take it back.
"I think it was just an impulse and he couldn't take it back."
He described how he hopes sharing his family's story will help others in a similar situation.
"I remember reading about this programme they have for gay youth in America called 'it gets better.' I think that's a powerful message.
Whatever you're going through right now, whatever is happening, it gets better.
"Whatever you're at now is not going to be the be all and end all of your life. But if you take that step, if you make that choice, then that's it, there's nothing coming back from that," he said.
