Phew! That's a relief.
The Brighton Argus felt it had to reassure its readers that the world was not ending because of a conflict between Man and goat.
It all stemmed from a request for readers to suggest questions for Brighton Science Festival director Richard Robinson. Reader, Gregor_Samsa, had some interesting things vexing his mind.
Inexplicably, some of his questions were published towards the end of the final interview and Mr Robinson was good enough to have a stab at answering them.
The local rag has had some previous with bizarre stories.
Giant Stiletto Found on Beach! Another great #Brighton Argus headline pic.twitter.com/Zyk13ZQvw9
— Simon Martin (@simonmartin_art) April 4, 2013