Apparently, there's a courgette crisis in the UK and of course people have reacted appropriately

Stop the press, because all of the UK's worst nightmares have come true.

No, we’re not talking about the apocalypse (but close) – we are, of course, talking about the courgette crisis.

Yes, this is the news that British supermarket shelves are running low on courgettes after the cold snap in Europe hit suppliers.

Tesco described its courgette shortage as “short term”, saying: “Due to bad weather conditions in Spain, we are experiencing a few availability issues, but are working with our suppliers to resolve them as quickly as possible.”

Jordi Vorderman, UK sales manager at Dutch vegetable supplier Valstar Holland, said courgette prices had quadrupled since the summer from between £4 and £6 to above £20 for a 5kg box.

He said some UK supermarkets were not prepared to buy courgettes at such high prices and would rather leave their shelves empty – say it ain’t so!

For many normal members of the human race with a healthy sense of perspective, the news is truly devastating.

We would go so far as to say it’s the end of days.

It spells particularly bad news for all those conscientious souls with new year’s resolutions to eat their greens.

It truly is a middle-class travesty of epic proportions.

Whereas the more fortunate in society are showing off that they’re still able to get their fix of the good stuff.

Believe it or not, there are some callous and heartless people out there who don’t actually care about the crisis.

But ignoring them, we really do think that this is a disaster like we’ve never seen before.

Excuse us while we go buy the movie rights, because we think it would make quite the feature film.


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