8 reasons summer holidays really weren’t that great anyway

We know, you were supposed to be on the Costa del Sol right now and you’re probably in an advanced state of mourning, but if you look at these boiling hot holidays in the cold light of day how much are you really missing?

Beach breaks were never that great… were they?

1. They always go over-budget

You could log every last water bottle with a monstrous meticulousness, and there’d still be a phantom 100 leaving your wallet someway somehow.

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Every holiday we convince ourselves that this time we’ve budgeted properly, and every holiday we get burned.

Sorry kids, looks like your shoes will have to wait until next year.

2. Most of us aren’t suited to the weather

On the subject of getting burned, to head south for many is to deliberately dice with carcinogens and pain.

If even your big toe pokes out from beneath the parasol it’ll be lobster-like within the hour, and a first-day burn means weeks of sleeping upright.

‘How was your holiday’ asks a colleague, giving you a friendly slap on the back…

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3. There’s a lot of stress before you can relax

You’ve booked the flights, butchered your savings, wrangled time off work, packed your passport (you think – check again), survived airline eating, and reached your hotel without any offensive mispronunciations.

At last you can relax. For a couple of days. If the weather holds.

4. Beaches are actually pretty rubbish

Everyone sort of knows this, but few have the courage to say it. Sand rivals cyanide and asbestos for the world’s worst material, and its relentless efforts to burrow into every crevice of our body makes us feel a little harassed.

The sea is nice – if you don’t mind the clammy embrace of seaweed suddenly ensnaring your leg – but the main terrestrial activities are sleeping, and making sure no one nicks your towel.

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5. The endless snaps for social media

The world is divided into two groups of people: Those with enough selfies to crash Instagram’s servers, and those that find said selfies incredibly annoying.

6. If you have kids, we salute you

We know, children are wonders, but every holiday is a brave new world of reasons to bicker, and if they both want the same bed you can kiss your relaxing break goodbye.

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7. ‘Beach body ready’

We’re not sure what’s worse, the offensive adverts asking us if we’re ‘beach body ready’ or the fact that they make us feel like we aren’t.

8. The huge pressure to have fun 

You took on a massive work backlog and to make this holiday happen, so if there is even a moment on foreign soil not filled with rainbows and puppies then so help you, you will turn this plane around.

It’s like getting FOMO for an event you’re actually attending.

No trip could ever live up to the holiday hype, and you will inevitably jet back to normalcy feeling a little short-changed.

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