14 completely inappropriate Valentine's gifts

Still not picked up that perfect gift for your other half? Here's what to avoid at all costs…

1. INAPPROPRIATE FOR HIM

(Amazon.com)

Honey, you got me a back hair shaver? You really shouldn't have.

You really shouldn't have.

2. INAPPROPRIATE FOR HER

(Enlighted.com)

When she told you she'd like some special lingerie, she did not mean a bra festooned with fairy lights.

3. INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE, EVER

(Hugegram.com)

Nothing says "I need specialist help" like the gift of a hug in a box.

Well, they call it a hug in a box. We call it a creepy pair of dismembered Mickey Mouse arms.

Dial 1-877-LUV-HUGS!

4. INAPPROPRIATE ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL

GPS lingerie. She's going to really love that.

It might have seemed like a good idea at the time (how?!?!?!), but it really didn't go down well.

5. INAPPROPRIATE FOR THAT ROMANTIC DINNER

(Thinkgeek.com)

Attention Star Wars nerds!

There are 365 evenings in the year. Surely for one of them you could lay off the Jedi references.

6. INAPPROPRIATE FOR BATMAN

(Findchaos.com)

Thanks to the wonderfully talented Anna Stiffler for use of this cartoon. Check out more of her art here.

7. INAPPROPRIATE FOR VEGETARIANS

(Uptightwhitey via Reddit)

For extra 'you're getting dumped tomorrow' credit, serve it up to your veggie partner rare.

8. INAPPROPRIATE INSTEAD OF FLOWERS

(Thinkgeek.com)

Someone got the last bouquet of red roses before you?

Not to worry, stuffed unicorns will do just fine.

(Actually, that's the perfect Valentines should your partner happen to be a Brony. But if that's the case, you've both got bigger issues to deal with).

9. INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE THAT ISN'T JOEY TRIBBIANI

(Someecards.com)

Coupons or 'love vouchers'.

No.

Might work for this guy - hey, who wouldn't cash in an hour of 'Joey Love' - won't work for you.

10. INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE EXPECTED TO POP THE QUESTION

(Amazon.com)

"I got you a ring!"

"OMG OMG OMG!"

*shows ring*

"Isn't it the coolest?!?!? It's a mug, as well!"

*Silence.*

*A door slams.*

11. INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND

(Thinkgeek.com)

Why on earth would you be buying a Valentine's present for your ex anyway?

Unless it was to just mess with their heads, in which case, this is perfect.

12. INAPPROPRIATE, BUT STILL BRILLIANT

(The Oatmeal)

We love The Oatmeal, possibly more than is healthy, and Matt Inman is an internet hero.

Still and all, the one day of the year that you have to get all gooey is possibly not the time to be introducing his work to your other half...

13. INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE OFF THE FAGS

(Amazon.co.uk)

It's National No Smoking Day today and your girlfriend is using Lent as an opportunity to kick the habit.

So, a pink girly cigarette case.

What the HELL were you thinking?

14. INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE WITH EYES

(Amazon.co.uk)

Got a cinephile in your life?

Don't get them that. Don't ever get them that.

Get them this instead.

Have we missed any? Add your own suggestions in the comments below…

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