Motormouth Clarkson needs hip op
Laddish motoring enthusiast Jeremy Clarkson has revealed he suffers from osteo-arthritis in his hips.
The 44-year-old presenter of BBC’s Top Gear says he will need plastic replacements to ease the condition.
Writing in his Sunday Times column, the outspoken petrolhead complains he could have to wait 15 years for an operation.
“Apparently, I can’t have the operation for another 15 years because plastic wears out even faster than bone, and it’s not like changing the battery in a torch,” he writes.
“So that’s it. For the next 15 years I have to hobble around with disfigured hips, in huge pain, being laughed at.”
Describing the tongue-in-cheek reaction of friends and family, he says: “Apparently, this is funny. On learning the news one friend said I should avoid leaning on any radiators when I have them fitted in case they melt.”
He adds; “The producer of Top Gear suggested I contact one of the Formula One teams to see if it could run me up a pair in carbon fibre.
“Sounds great, but I’m not sure I want to spend the next 40 years hobbling around with a pair of McLaren suspension units in my legs.”
In typically forthright style, Clarkson jokingly says he could either “go private, which will cost £25m (€35.8m), or use the NHS”.
He says: “This would mean waiting until the end of time, and then being given two joints that the 14-year-old doctor, on the advice of his line managers, had bought on the way to work from a plumbers’ merchants.”
Dubbed Jeremy “Motormouth” Clarkson, his passion for cars was sparked after passing his driving test in 1977 at the wheel of his grandfather’s R-Type Bentley. He first presented BBC’s Top Gear in 1989.
