Washing machines, seagulls and surveys - welcome to Silly Season

The news has been cancelled.

Washing machines, seagulls and surveys - welcome to Silly Season

The news has been cancelled.

It’s that special time of the year when news just … goes away. The politicians, the courts, and hell, even the criminal underworld all seem to go on their holliers in July and August, leaving those of us shackled to the newsroom looking about for things to do.

[comment] Exactly what a newsroom looks like.[/comment]

Journalists sit by the phone, waiting for people to call them back with a story. Any story. We do our best, but the summer months just don’t offer as much. And so, some days, the most interesting stories really are things like —

THIS WOMAN AND HER WASHING MACHINE

Spare a thought for the local papers, too, who have a smaller niche to cover. Sometimes they can feel like they’ve been hung out to dry.

“In 1986, the Cappamore grandmother won a Miele competition to find the oldest model of their machine in the country. Her 30-year-old machine took the prize.

History has repeated itself as 26 years later her Zanussi washing machine is still going strong.”

Quite.

THIS COUNCILLOR WHO IS BLAMING IT ON THE WEATHERMAN

A 2012 moment.

THIS OTHER COUNCILLOR WHO HAS SOLVED ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR

No word yet on how successful the initiative has been in the past year. We’re not holding our breath.

FECK IT, LET’S JUST REPLACE THE NEWS WITH BOOKS

You know you’re strapped for airtime when one of the national current affairs shows er, branches out a bit from interviewing Ministers and discussing national policy.

Today with Sean O’Rourke is running a book club this summer. On live radio. Huh.

ALWAYS ROOM FOR A SILLY PHOTO OP

It’s a good job TDs got all the important tasks dusted before leaving. One just has to look at the last few weeks before the recess to see all the Garth nonsense– fine work done.

And let’s not forget how the minister for Tourism swept into action in the wake of the Garth Brooks cancellations, by donning a cowboy hat and waving an American flag, which, we gather, fixed the situation to everyone’s satisfaction.

A PLAGUE OF SEAGULLS

With all the heavy-hitters distracted by the summer heat, Senators often spot their opening to get the important issues across. And we’ve already got the classic from this year.

Thank you, Senator Ned O’Sullivan, for highlighting the danger of seagulls, and how “they’re getting so cheeky now that they attack young children and dispossess them of their lollipops and stuff like that.”

An instant classic.

TD TAKES SUMMER JOB

TDs themselves get bored. They all head off the to McGill summer school and give speeches to other politicians, journalists and lobby groups. That keeps them entertained for a few weeks.

Of course, a few of them go and get summer jobs to keep busy, like military aircraft inspector.

COMPETITORS COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER SHOCKER

OUR SURVEY SAYS - ANYTHING, REALLY

Did you know people are happy when it’s sunny? Or that dogs feel jealousy? Or that Irish people don’t fight over chores?

Well, lucky you! Thanks to Silly Season economics, we have studies, which are all very scientific, to reveal these amazing facts. And, even better, we have surveys, which may or may not have been conducted to coincide with a product release by a company. Maybe. Shhhh.


Jaysus. Roll on September, with your glorious politics and bad weather keeping everyone at work. We miss you. All is forgiven.

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