So did you know that Zorro was Irish?
With The Gathering now in full swing we've been trawling through the hundreds of events still to take place between now and year's end.
To say we've been surprised is an understatement…
Read on for our pick of the more, um…
Gatherings for 2013.
Zorro was Irish? What?
In recognition of the fact the fictional character was
based on Wexford-born William Lamport, here's the first Irish 'Zorrofest', which will celebrate all things Mexican and include "a mind-blowing parade by Bui Bolg, readings and lectures, live Mariachi music, Mexican dancers, a Mexican-themed market, art, children's events, Mexican food, a fun run and much more".Wait...
- Pierce Turner Needs a Hug (Wexford, May 11): Disclaimer: We may not have this 100% correct, but it's in Wexford and involves Pierce Turner and hugs. That much is certain.
The small town of Ballymoe, Co Galway, attempts to break the world record for the most men with beards gathering in one place.
Sure all they have to do is invite The Dubliners, and they're halfway there.
Organisers say there will be "separate competitions for National and International beard, from the elegant and scientific to the whacky", so they're taking the whole thing semi-seriously at least.
From our research it seems that the current record for a similar gathering of bearded men is 400," organiser John Martin Griffin told the Tuam Herald, adding that the committee hope to break the 1,000 mark.
"We are hoping to create more job opportunities here and we feel that the bearded event for The Gathering will also generate opportunities for other festivals and events in nearby town and villages at the same time," Mr Griffin added.
- The Irish Redhead Convention (Cork, Aug 23-25): "A festival of ginger loving madness and a celebration of all things to do with having fabulous red hair! " Well, as long as it keeps them where we can see them.
All together now... MUSH!
So apparently you don't need snow for sled dog racing - or Canicross to those in the know. This event - the "Irisharod", is the final race meeting of the Irish Dryland Mushing Championship and it takes place on the same date as the start of the famous Iditarod race in Alaska.
- The Mayo Mud Run (Ballina, March 23): Got an adventures sports event? You'll need an 'edgy' name (see also: The Headless Horseman, The Beast of Ballyhoura)
- International Railbike Event (Mullingar/Athlone, Jun1-2): What's a railbike? It's a bike, that goes on railway lines. Now you know.
Think you know your onions? And your spuds, lamb and carrots? Pit your culinary skills (or your mammy's) against the experts at the final of the World Irish Stew Championships.
Again, we're not making this up.
- The Virginia Pumpkin Gathering Festival (Virginia, Co Cavan, Oct 25-28): If it's good enough for Joyce and Diana, it's good enough for us.
So apparently the literal meaning of Mullingar, As Gaelige, is "the town of the left hand mill".
Hence, a festival for lefties (all 700 million of them), who have been "historically discriminated against and forced to comply to a right-hand world".
Facilities on offer will include left-handed hotel bedrooms, while a series of trials and tasks over the five-day fest will determine who is crowned The Left Handed Champion of Ireland.
Unusually, it's one event where organisers are hoping nothing goes right… (groan).
- The Clonakilty Random Acts of Kindness Festival (Clonakilty, July 19-21): Because it's nice to be nice, and cool to be random.
Bog snorkelling made unlikely front pages last year when the ever-game-for-a-laugh Leo Varadkar got down and dirty in Co Monaghan in a bid to generate more pro-Gathering PR.
It's not known if Leo will again be up to his eyebrows in shite by the time the 2013 event rolls around, but given the Government's recent record, we're thinking probably.
Anyway, bog snorkelling. It is what it is.
- As well as your common or garden non-bog snorkelling, there's no shortage of weird watersports huddled under the Gathering banner for 2013. Underwater Hockey? Canoe polo? Whatever floats your boat...
The horse shoe throwing competition is the jewel in the crown of Ventry's annual regatta, and sees athletes in the peak of their physical condition lock horns on the village green.
At one time the rivalries were all local but since a blow-in from America won the competition in 2011, petty differences have been put aside to defend the honour of Fionntrá from international interlopers.
It's not just pegging horse shoes around the green, either. There's rules, and everything.
Also in 'making festivals out of throwing random stuff', there's the Araglin Welly Throwing Championships in July. They say: "History has it that the sport originated from a spat between two farmers in the local pub one night". We say: "More likely somebody thought a quirky idea might get the Araglin Festival noticed."
Remember when Homer joined The Be Sharps? That's about all we know about barbershop.
But these guys are having a convention, and good luck to them, say we.
- You want minority musical interests? We got The International Sea Shanty Gathering (aar!). We got Ukuleles in Dun Laoghaire. We got lotsa stuff.
A drinking tournament for Air Traffic Controllers, involving over 1,200 people from 33 countries.
Sorry, a FOOTBALL tournament.
Football. We meant football.
- Calling All Lighthouse Keepers (Wexford, Sept 13-15). Aww… how sweet is that?
One of the advantages of being a legend is that you can have a festival all to yourself.
This event will be a home-town celebration of Harris' awesomeness, with viewings of his most iconic films, a showcase for young film makers, and an international award for Best Sports Documentary of the Year.
- The George Clooney Irish Roots Festival (Kilkenny, July 27-30. Because piggybacking a famous name is another way make your village festival stand out from the crowd.
- The Nenagh Silent Film Festival (Nenagh, Feb 14-17). Because we like the idea of a silent film festival on Valentine's weekend, if only as a means to get a bit of peace and quiet. "No darling, you're not allowed talk. At all."
This isn't a real Gathering at all. This is just a load of people drinking in the bushes.
Let us know in the comments…