How to get revenge on your student neighbours
A concerned resident has taken to Reddit after their student neighbours “threw a glass table off of our balcony”.
Eejits.
The students use the concerned resident’s balcony to get across to their friend’s balcony, who is also a student (imagine being stuck between them).
Although this balcony-hopping is probably a Snapchat worthy escapade, it is very dangerous and the concerned resident is sick of it especially after the glass table incident.
Sensible Redditors provided helpful advice like calling the Gardaí, the landlord and the college to make a complaint.
However, the advice that followed was utterly evil.
One commenter said: “Take a football and cut a small hole in the bottom. Fill it with cement. Let it dry solid and place it on your balcony hole side down. Sit back and listen for the scream as anyone drunk vaulting across your balcony is not going to resist the urge to kick a ball full wack.”
Another added: “Fill it (the football) with explosives.”
It got even darker when one user wrote: “Wait until one night when you’re sure they have been drinking lots, then grab some grease and cover your balcony railings with it, when one of them slips and breaks their neck just wipe the stuff off before the Gardaí arrive.”
A helpful commenter added: “You’d need to run down and check on the lad that fell and wipe the grease off his hands.”
A beartrap, fence and wall made of broken glass was also suggested. (Real nice people on Reddit, real nice.)
One piece of advice stood out from all the rest though, the most sane and measured piece of advice we have ever read: “Well when they’ve climbed across into the other apartment, they probably will have left their balcony door unlocked so that they can get back in. So they next time they do it, climb over and go into their apartment and make your way to the kitchen. Switch on their immersion, and leave.”
Sorted.
