Honestly, I'll be just as happy with nothing

Mother's Day is on the way and we've had a letter from Mammy - or more specifically, @irishmammies - that we thought we'd share with you.

Honestly, I'll be just as happy with nothing

Mother's Day is on the way and we've had a letter from Mammy - or more specifically, @irishmammies - that we thought we'd share with you.

_________________________________________

An Irish Mammy writes…

"Now promise me you won’t be wasting money on any kind of an expensive gift for me. Especially with running that car and all the miles you do. AND THE PRICE OF PETROL! We had to put a fill into the Micra the other day and I don’t even want to say how much it cost.

So a nice card’ll be grand and if you would like to get me a present maybe a nice scarf or a voucher but honestly I’ll be just as happy with nothing.

A TEA TOWEL: Shur all the ones I have are in rags

What time am I to expect ye on Sunday only Cáit Gallagher is threatening to call and I’ve an awful feeling it’s Sunday she’ll pick to land in on top of us. She’s has a heart of gold but She. Would. Talk. For. Ireland thatwan. If you send us a text to let us know and it wouldn’t be any harm if ye came early and I can put her off.

By the way, did you know Mrs Timmins, or Mrs Johnny-Joe as they used to call her after the husband? Well she died, the cratur. Oh she was a good age and they were all saying that she had a

lovely death.

“Twas like she was asleep” Bernie said to me. We went to the removal but there was such an awful

crowd we could hardly get parking but we went in and did the shake-hands and that was grand.

THE TURNOUT: Was great

Tell me any chance we’re going to meet this ‘partner’ of yours any time soon. No rush, we were just wondering. I suppose you’re – what was it you said before, oh that’s right – “taking it one step at a time”

Shur it’s all done different now I suppose.

Anyway they’re very welcome whenever you decide to bring them along. Only be sure and give us plenty of notice as the place is in a bit of a state. I don’t mind you seeing it but I’d like to have it nice for strangers.

MASS: Would you not try and get it?

I suppose you’ll be off out now this evening socialising. You’ll be worn out with all the gallivanting but shur if you can’t do it now, when can you do it? Haha. But won’t you take it easy on the drink now? There’d be lots of gurriers around and they’d be looking out for people when they’d have drink taken.

Not at all that I’m saying you’re fond of the drink. You’re always very sensible I’m sure but you wouldn’t know what kind of a latchico you’d bump into on the street.

Weren’t they talking about it on Joe Duffy only the other day? What day was it, was it Monday. No it wasn’t Monday as we were at the chiropodist with our feet, was it Wedn..it was Wednesday. Any way they were talking about the fellas that’d Be. Off. Their. Heads. On. Drugs. Out of it completely.

I suppose they never had much of a chance either the poor divils.

DRINK: Ohthelordsaveus

Anyway I’ll sign off now but listen if you can at all will you try and get Mass. I know you haven’t much time for it but you’d never know it’d do you good.

Love

Mammy

___________________________________________

Irish Mammies is the brainchild of comedian Colm O'Regan.

Click here to buy Isn't it well for ye: The Book of Irish Mammies or join Mammy's 80,000 followers on Twitter - @irishmammies

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