Come out, come out Kimye, and let us guide you round east Cork
Cork people are long convinced of the county’s delights, but the rest of the world seems stunned that Kimye would consider a honeymoon in the Rebel county.
Well, lookit, this list of attractions compiled by east Cork writer Christina Dunne will surely win them over.
By Christina Dunne
If it’s good enough for President Bill Clinton, J Z and Queen Bey, Sinead O’Connor and Tommy Tiernan, then The Castlemartyr Resort is surely good enough for Kimye.
The newlyweds couldn’t have chosen a better honeymoon venue, especially as they have expressed a desire for a honeymoon baby.
Totally relaxed on the edge of the Atlantic, this luxury retreat is the perfect location for romance and privacy.
Even though Kimye have expressed a wish for privacy and anonymity they shouldn’t leave this perfect piece of Cork without at least savouring some of its delights.
Ballymalloe should be their first port of call. President Clinton dined here with the late Seamus Heaney and company, during his visit for the World Trade Funds Conference in June 2012.
The culinary delights of Ballymalloe are well documented world-wide and matriarch Myrtle Allen, who celebrated her 90th birthday this year, will give a warm welcome to the couple. They can enjoy a stroll in the gardens after an organic lunch with vegetables fresh from the garden and fish and meat morsels supplied by the local butcher and fishermen.
Kayne’e mother Donda, spotted her son’s propensity for music and drawing in third grade, so a visit to Gentian Lulanaj, the artist in residence at Ballymalloe is an absolute must. Gentian studied with the old masters in Italy and his portrait of Mrs Allen, commissioned by the staff, has pride of place at Ballymalloe House.
They should also check out the Grainstore, a venue where many a famous music artist has performed. Kayne would find the acoustics here particularly interesting for rapping. The echo is magnificent.
This is rumoured to be Phil Coulter’s favourite stage. Kayne might decide to take time out from his honeymoon to strut his stuff here for us.
Don’t tell anyone, but I have to let the Kardishians into a secret. The beaches in east Cork are better than the beaches in West Cork.
Back in the day, Youghal was the place to go when the weather got hot. The history of the classic traditional seaside town goes back a long way and it had an early taste of fame when Moby Dick was filmed here 60 years ago.
That, and the ice cream from Micheal on Main Street is to die for.
Kim and Kayne are into having fun, so a peek into Perks amusement Arcade is a must before they take a stroll on the front strand.
Back to the beach for those romantic strolls. By coming early in the season (canny of them), they’ve avoided scenes like this:
Next stop for the Kardashians should be the Old Midleton Distillery, home to Paddy, Jameson and Powers Whiskies.
Threy'll have the option of a guided tour of the distillery, though if it were us, we'd probably head straight for the samples, incuding of the fabulous Midelton Rare. If the couple are curious about the making of the whisky, remembering the basic three ingredients is simple - BMW. Barley, Malt and Water.
All set?
Pat Shortts bar is nearby too, for Unbelieveable craic (see what we did there?)
We can definitely see Kim and Kayne browsing through the Midleton Farmers Market, where they will meet fellow international celeb Darina Allen.
Darina’s sure to offer them some tasty morsels of her chutney, elderflower lemonade and home-made brown bread.
A sliver of smoked salmon from Frank Hedderman, and a buttery homemade scone from Mary O’Connell….mmmmm, buttery scone…Sure they'll be in 7th heaven.
As the evening draws near, even the Kardashians must rest. Yes we know Kim slimmed down for the wedding and she wants to stay that way. We recommend a leisurely swim in the Capella pool, while Kayne takes a walk in the nearby soothing Castlemartyr woods.
Where to next? A late night boat ride from a local obliging fisherman to Ballycotton Island is one option. Then they can view Ballycotton Island by the light of the silvery moon.
The world is their oyster. And so is east Cork.
