9 people you’re going to meet at Electric Picnic and how to deal with them

It's Electric Picnic time! And we're not at all jealous we're not going... Nope.

9 people you’re going to meet at Electric Picnic and how to deal with them

It’s Electric Picnic weekend. Thousands of people will descend on Stradbally, Co. Laois from tomorrow for a weekend packed with music, magic and mischief.

Are we jealous? Not at all! Not even a little bit.. Nope. Not us.

We’ve even helpfully put together this guide on the types of festival-goers you’re likely to encounter over the weekend.

Which one are you?

1. The underprepared lad.

No raincoat, wellies or a tent - just a sleeping bag, a slab of cans and boundless enthusiasm.

You’ll see him Sunday asleep under a tree with soaking wet runners and a big smile on his face.

Pic: Billy Higgins

Not a bother to him.

2The Hip Family

The family who thought it would be a bonding experience but now things are slightly strained and WHO’S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO BRING THE BUGGY ANYWAY?

They're a delight to talk to early on in the weekend but avoid at all costs come Sunday - nerves will be frayed and kids will be cranky.

Just be patient, smile and let them skip the queue.

3. The guy who has been attending since Electric Picnic began and will NOT stop going on about it.

While you appreciate his dedication to the festival, you just really don’t need hear about how literally life-changing Arcade Fire were back in 2005. Again.

Bear with him, he’s pining for days gone by, just politely listen and steer the conversation back to this year's EP and who’s he going to see.

4. Your new best friend (who you’ll never see again)

One of the best parts of festivals can be the people you meet - your neighbours in the campsite, the people you’ve just met but are pressed up against in the middle of the crowd or the girl you meet in the tortuously long queue for the portaloos.

You get along famously, have the best craic and then you lose them in the crowd, forget to get their number and you probably never see them again.

Devastating.

5. The Oxegen overflow

They’re young, they’re slightly terrifying and they’ve never heard of any of the bands that are playing.

They think you're aaaancient.

Try not to make eye contact and if you get caught talking to one of them, just speak slowly and maybe mention how much you like Disclosure.

6. The dilettante.

She’s learned everything she knows about festivals from the fashion spreads in magazines

Recognisable by her flowery wellies, naggin of vodka, flower headband, short shorts and the trickles of fake tan running down her legs as the heavens open.

But she's the person you’ll want with you when it's time to get drunk and dance.

7. A friendly dog.

There’s always one.

Ask the owner if you can hug him. Dog hugs make hangovers better. Fact.

8. The military planner.

This person will have printed and laminated stage times (colour-coded) and a map. They will know quickest route between all the stages.

Tiring but the person you'll call on if there’s a clash between your two favourite bands - they will find a way to get you to both.

And you will be eternally grateful.

9. The chance encounter.

Your friend from home you haven’t seen in ages - and actually didn’t he move to Canada? - that you see surf across the crowd at the Arctic Monkeys.

One quick wave and they're gone.

Enjoy the weekend, folks!

Here's a list of the 12 acts you must not miss (and three you definitely should)

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